i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
