Joe is yelling at the trees again.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Randomize
