Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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