She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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