Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
