Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
