youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
