At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
