I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
