So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I need a burrito and a hug.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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