she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize