My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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