and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Farmville is her only friend.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
