i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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