He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize