Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
