I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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