eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
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