Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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