out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
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