As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
