Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
