Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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