the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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