at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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