is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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