??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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