he puts the penis in happiness.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
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