Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
