Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
