Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize