a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize