You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
