Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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