She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
