the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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