the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
