It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
