You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
