It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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