Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
