trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
