The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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