I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
