Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
