Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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