16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
