we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
