Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
