I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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