i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
