i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
worst night to have a conscience
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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