Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
