I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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