I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
