Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Enjoy the penises
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize