You're my little dorito
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
