i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
