if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
