East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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