Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
