You work out of a Hotel?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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