You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
My dad is sitting where you rode me
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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