Having a random hookup so left but love u
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
