I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
How does one acquire holy water?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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