I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
