dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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