I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I love having hate sex.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
