I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You had me at "let me see your balls"
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
