dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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