Pappa wants mamma naked
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
