Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
