Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
