i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
