I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
