He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
