do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
