Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just forgot I was standing up.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
