pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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