I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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